Give Me Love Like Her
by Rebekah Matthews
Summary: Set in 1923, two years after Esme's transformation, she kills for the first time. Carlisle finds himself wishing he could take her pain away but he learns that his compassion has the power to turn people away. Esme has a revelation while dealing with her horror at taking a life and finds solace in the one man that never forgot her.


Author's note: Please, leave me some reviews! This is set in 1923, two years after Esme's transition into a vampire. After she kills for the first time, she finds solace in the one person she can call home.

This story was inspired by Ed Sheeran's song _Give Me Love_ and Rag 'n' Bone Man's song _Grace._ The lyrics used in this story are from _Only You_ by Yazoo.

Give Me Love Like Her

Silence reigned over the Cullen household. The only sound that could be heard by the keen senses of the vampires who dwelled there was the delicate strokes of the paintbrush sweeping over the page. She knew that one set of eyes was burning into her, as has been the case for the past two weeks. She was aware that another in her coven was close by, but far enough to help her feel alone in her thoughts. She filled the page with more colours as she stared out of the window, copying the landscape beyond her. More time passed, and she was so engrossed in her mind-numbing project that she forgot about the others in her presence, until she felt a gentle pair of hands cup her shoulders. She turned quickly, forgetting about the paint covered brush in her hand and looked up into the familiar, warm, golden eyes of Carlisle.

"Do you need to hunt?" he asked softly. "Edward wants to go shortly."

"We hunted this morning," she replied, frowning slightly.

"I don't think he sated himself," he explained.

"I don't need to go," she said, avoiding his eyes, looking down at which point she gasped. "Oh no," she murmured, her face saddening.

Carlisle frowned, following her gaze. There were paint splattered teardrops on his crisp, blue shirt. He reached for her hand and took the paintbrush from her grasp, placing it on the table. "It'll wash," he murmured, tucking curls of hair behind her ear, leaving his hand at her cheek.

She was forced to look into his flawless face and pursed her lips at what she found there, again. "Carlisle," she said, moving her head away, stepping around him out of his embrace. "You need to stop doing this."

He shook his head, lost.

"You keep looking at me like it was your fault," she explained. "What happened… It wasn't your fault. You couldn't have stopped me."

"But I should have stopped you," he replied, solemnly. "I should have been better."

"But you are better, Carlisle," she sighed. "You never gave up, you never gave in."

"I don't want to see you hurting," he said, sadly, "not again."

"I know," she replied, "but this needs to hurt, at least for a little while."

"I just wish I could save you from this," he said, pulling his fingers through his golden hair.

"You can't save me from what I am," she replied firmly, "but that's not to say that this is your fault. You saved me from a life that was killing me."

Carlisle folded his arms across his chest and perched on the end of the arm of the couch. "Esme, it did kill you. I just wish I could help you with this."

"You can," she said quickly. "Just give it some more time." She sighed deeply. "A man died, Carlisle. He was someone's son, possibly someone's husband, a father. I can still _taste_ his blood in my mouth." She looked up at him. "When I look at you, I see your golden eyes and it just reminds me of what I did. My eyes are orange."

"That will go the more you feed on animals, Esme," he reminded her patiently.

She nodded slowly. "I lost control," she whispered.

"It's only been two years," he said, sitting up straighter. "You would have never done this intentionally. I know you, Esme. You have an unparalleled capacity for passionate love that I'd never seen in anyone else in all my 260 years."

Her eyes shot to his face, then she turned from him towards the door. She heard him move from his position and without looking back, she said, "don't follow me. Redemption doesn't fall down at our feet." She shot out of the door in a blur and Carlisle watched her go, silently.

He walked up the stairs to his office and sat down heavily in his chair. He paused, then reached into his top desk drawer and pulled out a small discreet box. He opened it to reveal a row of five diamonds, with four sapphires sat between each diamond above and below the row, set upon a golden band. He stared at it for a while, getting lost in his own thoughts. Two years had passed since he'd found Esme again. It still broke his heart remembering the situation in which he found her. Then, she had completed her transition into a vampire and he was shocked to find that she wasn't as upset by her transformation as he'd imagined. She remembered her first meeting with him, as did he, ten years previously and she'd told him that she was happy to be reunited with the man who was her ideal of a gentleman. She'd never forgotten the doctor that had truly been interested in what she had to say and who laughed with her, numbing the pain she should have felt when he treated her broken leg. However, he was shocked to find out what had traumatised her for the past eight years. The first time he or Edward had come near her, she'd subconsciously screamed at them to get away and she'd cowered in the corner of the room, forgetting that she couldn't be harmed. It had been a long while until she'd told either of them of her life, so Carlisle had given her space and allowed her to come near as she pleased. His gallant, courteous and chivalrous ways had reminded her of her first meeting with Carlisle which had affected her deeply at the time. And over the past year, they'd grown closer than he'd ever dared to hope. Then Esme lost control and she'd killed a man while they were all out hunting. It had broken her, and the guilt only served to distance her from him. He gazed at the ring that he'd been saving for her and he shook his head.

"She's coming back," Edward said, walking into his office, as Carlisle hastily shut the ring away in his desk. Edward raised an eyebrow at him. "I've been seeing that in your mind for the past six months, you needn't hide it from me. I won't tell."

"I'm sorry, Edward," Carlisle sighed.

"She's right, you know," he replied. "It wasn't your fault. It made me so angry when you looked at me with guilt all over your face. You were never angry or disappointed when I messed up which made it so much worse." He considered Carlisle for a moment. "Try acceptance, Carlisle. It'll make it easier on her because she needs to accept it, too."

Carlisle nodded, resting his chin on his hand. "Do you know when she'll be back?"

"She's hunting, actually," Edward informed him. Carlisle's eyebrows raised in alarm. "Don't worry – she's hunting deep in the trees." Edward frowned. "She wants to be good enough."

"That's preposterous," Carlisle murmured. "She's more than that." He glanced in the direction of where he put the ring and sighed. "Are we losing her?"

"No," Edward answered, "you're not." He turned and vacated his office, heading towards his piano.

A few hours had passed, and Carlisle was still sat in his office, occupying himself with medical texts to pass the time. He missed Esme, even though she was somewhere in the trees beyond the house, too far for him to sense. The piano had been filling the house for the past few hours. It sounded like Edward has been composing new music. Esme had always held such joy in listening to him play and the thought made Carlisle smile. Then a familiar sweet scent, like lilacs and freesias, caught his attention and he looked towards his door.

"Esme," he smiled, inviting her in warmly.

She didn't move from the door, but she stood considering him. He noted that her eyes were considerably brighter but not quite golden yet. "You said that you wished you could save me," she stated, watching as he nodded slowly in acknowledgement. She walked over the threshold, into his office and sat on his desk in front of him. "You already saved me." He frowned in puzzlement. "You made me feel loved," she continued, a soft smile gracing her heart-shaped face.

"And you will be for eternity," he offered, tentatively taking her hand in his.

"You know, at the time, I never told anyone quite how much our first meeting affected me," she confessed, swinging her legs from the position on his desk. This action made Carlisle smile, remembering the vivacious, beautiful girl he'd been instantly enchanted by.

"Oh?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at her.

"When I was hunting, I was thinking…" she started, continuing when he nodded at her to go on, "I'm not happy to have ended someone's life. But there's only one thing that can get me through it." His eyes squinted slightly in question, motivating her to elaborate. "You, Carlisle." She looked down at his hand clasping hers and she intertwined their fingers. "If you remember when I woke after you changed me, I was elated to see you. That never changed. I'm happy to be with the man who never forgot me, and I you."

Carlisle got up from his chair and stood in front of her, crushing her to him. He inhaled her scent, the smell of the forest mixed in her caramel curls. He turned, taking her in his arms and leaped out of the window onto the grass below. She laughed, hearing Edward change sheet music at his piano.

"What are you doing?" she asked him, as he twirled her on the spot.

"Enjoying the start of time," he answered, pulling her close to him, leaving a kiss on her porcelain cheek. She quirked an eyebrow at him. "I don't believe in happy endings anymore," he continued, "only happy beginnings."

Quite spontaneously, they were aware that Edward started to sing from his position at his piano. If it wasn't for their enhanced hearing, they wouldn't have heard him from outside on their open lawn.

 _Looking from a window above, it's like a story of love_ _  
Can you hear me  
Came back only yesterday  
I'm moving further away  
Want you near me_

As Esme twirled back into his arms, she bit her lip, trying to stop herself from laughing at the paint splattered across Carlisle's shirt. He looked down at what she was eyeing, and he rolled his eyes, laughing. By this time, they were dancing in each other's arms, making full use of the space provided by the large garden, manoeuvring easily around Esme's many flower beds.

 _All I needed was the love you gave_ _  
All I needed for another day  
And all I ever knew  
Only you_

Esme gazed into Carlisle's face, seeing the incredulous eyes of first love that she herself had seen in her own reflection on so many occasions upon thinking about him. She knew that it would always be that way for them.

 _Sometimes when I think of her name  
When it's only a game  
And I need you  
Listen to the words that you say  
It's getting harder to stay  
When I see you_

 _All I needed was the love you gave  
All I needed for another day  
And all I ever knew  
Only you_

Carlisle gripped her waist, hardly daring to think about what was currently residing in his desk, that Esme had been sitting on. He considered her beautiful face, taking his hand off her waist to brush her curls back from her face. He left his hand against her cheek and kissed her softly.

 _All I needed was the love you gave  
All I needed for another day  
And all I ever knew  
Only you_

 _This is going to take a long time  
And I wonder what's mine  
Can't take no more  
Wonder if you'll understand  
It's just the touch of your hand  
Behind a closed door_

 _All I needed was the love you gave  
All I needed for another day  
And all I ever knew  
Only you_

Edward ended the song but continued with the riff for a while, filling the air with its melody. Carlisle picked up Esme's left hand from its position on his shoulder and briefly eyed the third finger. Today wasn't the day.

"Esme," he murmured, his forehead resting against her own.

She inhaled steadily. "Yes?"

"Your pain is my pain," he told her. "And I'm never letting you go."


End file.
